Part 4: Mother-Daughter Estrangement Trend Explained!

This is the last blog of a four-part series on “Why are so many mothers and daughters estranged today?”. In this blog I outline the conclusions I have come to about what may be causing this worrying trend. This trend is about adult daughters deciding to become estranged from their mother because they are not feeling heard, understood, or valued, and the pain of this invisibility is too much for them. Mothers and daughters do not relate in a cultural vacuum, and estranged daughters are the canary-in-the-coalmine, warning us about the harm that patriarchy and selfless caregiving inflicts on mothers and daughters, and that women’s voices and needs are not listened to or honored.

Notwithstanding today’s estrangement trend, I see no evidence that mothers are more abusive today. Nor do I see that mother-daughter relationships are more toxic or unsalvageable than they were ten years ago. What I am seeing is a parallel trend alongside today’s estrangement trend in which young adult daughters are asking their mothers to join them in mother-daughter couple’s therapy/coaching because they have woken up to the emotional and relational harm patriarchy inflicts on women, and they are demanding change. Yet regardless of whether an adult daughter is choosing estrangement or wanting mother-daughter couple’s therapy/coaching, both sets of adult daughters are angry about…