Mother’s Day Question — Who Takes Care of Mom?

Mother’s Day is a Hallmark tradition in which mothers are honored and revered, but underneath the cards and flowers lies a rarely talked about conversation that asks; who is taking care of mom?

On Mother’s Day we give thanks for all the love and care mothers give, but do we ask; what does mom need and who is mom as a person outside of her mothering role? These questions are not asked because of our steadfast belief in what I call the “Culture of Female Service”.

The “Culture of Female Service” is a widespread belief that mothers are here on this earth to selflessly take care of their children and family, and that self-denial, self-neglect, and self-sacrifice are the hallmarks of “good mothering”. We have all grown up believing in this definition of motherhood as if it is a fact. The alternative viewpoint where mothers are treated as people first with lives and needs of their own that are as important as their husbands’ and children’s and elderly parents’ lives and needs is so threatening to our ideals of motherhood, society actively suppresses this viewpoint.

The first time I asked the question; who is taking care of mom, years ago when my first book “The Silent Female Scream” was published. Back then people’s eyes would glaze over whenever I talked about mothers being people outside of their mothering role and…