The term ‘mother wound’ has become a popular catch-all description of the disempowering messages daughters inherit from their mother and the pain daughters feel when their mother cannot emotionally connect. Articles and videos on how to heal your ‘mother wound’ are all over the internet, including goop.com and YouTube, even though the term is not a clinical diagnosis.

In Psychology Today (October 2019) Sherry Gaba writes that the ‘mother wound’ is about not feeling mothered. Gaba explains that daughters may suffer from a ‘mother wound’ when their mother did not provide emotional caregiving, even though she provided physical care. In…


Amongst the awfulness of 2020, I created something amazing! I have long held a dream of creating a community of mother-daughter therapists/coaches who would not only join me in providing the mother-daughter help that is so desperately needed, but together we would challenge the way the mother-daughter relationship remains marginalized in the therapy and coaching professions.

Realizing my dream started five years ago when I was in hospital. As I lay in my hospital bed, I had an a-ha moment. I saw that the mother-daughter specialism I had worked so hard to create could die with me if I did…


To celebrate International Women’s Day, Mother-Daughter Coaching International (MDCI) and Women’s Federation for World Peace (WFWP UK) joined forces and organized a free online conference on “Mothers and Daughters Around the World”. The conference was moderated by Rosjke Hasseldine, founder of MDCI, and Mitty Tohma, president of WFWP UK; Yingli Wang a mother-daughter therapist; Bibi Jamieson a mother-daughter therapist; Dawn Pollitt a community activist; and Brittney Scott a mother-daughter therapist spoke about their personal experiences and learning about the mother-daughter relationship.

The conference challenged the common belief that the mother-daughter relationship is a complicated relationship to understand. It highlighted that…


The Women’s Federation for World Peace facilitated an online conference in November 2020 on “The Golden Brother”, which I spoke at. This conference was overbooked, which didn’t surprise me. “The Golden Brother” phenomenon is extremely common in many families and cultures around the world, and in this blog I will define what “The Golden Brother” is and reveal how harmful this patriarchal behavior is for women, mothers, daughters, and the golden brother himself.

What is a Golden Brother?

A Golden Brother is the brother who receives more attention, affection, and praise than his sister(s). His mother (and father) single him…


We all know that conflict between a husband and wife affects the entire family, and that children of all ages are deeply impacted when their parents fight. What isn’t widely known is how parental conflict can cause conflict between a mother and daughter. In this blog I examine how the bond between a mother and daughter of any age can be adversely affected by parental conflict.

Understanding this mother-daughter dynamic starts with an appreciation of how the mother-daughter bond mirrors how women are treated by their family, culture, and society. How a mother and daughter of any age relate, tells…


Many of the men that are largely considered the ‘fathers’ of psychotherapy are household names. Names like Freud, Jung, Rogers, for example, are known by most people. Less well known are the names of the ‘mothers’ of psychotherapy like Gilligan, Miller, Klein, Chodorow, Satir, to name a few. History has long elevated men’s voices and achievements over women’s voices and achievements, and the psychotherapy profession is no exception. The counseling and human development theories student counselors learn in college are largely developed by men, which means that student counselors learn how to understand their female clients through these male theorists’…


Anger is a common and often misunderstood emotion between mothers and daughters. In my therapy work with mothers and daughters, I hear how deeply angry mothers and daughters of all ages can be with each other, how intensely hurt they feel when they don’t feel heard, understood, or valued. Mothers tell me that they feel taken-for-granted by their adult daughters. They want to be a source of help and support for their daughter with childcare for example, but they don’t want to end up feeling that helping-out is all they’re good for. Mothers want to feel emotionally connected to their…


Systemic sexism has re-emerged into the collective consciousness and global conversation since the #MeToo and #BelieveHer movements came into existence. Just like during the 1960’s when women joined consciousness raising groups in which they shared their daily experiences with sexism and misogyny, women today are calling out the deeply embedded and normalized sexism in our society. And recently, we witnessed this kind of calling out in how Congresswoman Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez publicly shared her experience with Rep. Ted Yoho. It is curious to me why this conversation about systemic sexism went silent for many years, but that is for another blog…


After the tragic death of Kobe Bryant and his daughter Gianna in January 2020, #GirlDad started to trend in honor of their close relationship. It is heart-warming to see a father being emotionally supportive of his daughter, and daughters certainly need their father’s love, attention, and emotional support. Emotionally attentive fathers teach their daughters that they have a right to be heard and respected by men, and how to find their equal place in the world. When a daughter experiences her father listening to her, believing her, and treating her as his equal, she develops a felt sense of what…


In this, my sixth blog on Mother-Daughter Attachment, I will identify; what mother blaming is, how toxic mother blaming is for the mother-daughter bond; and how unconsciously pervasive it is within the counseling and marriage and family professions.

Paula Caplan, in her definitive text, The New Don’t Blame Mother describes mother-daughter blaming as moderate air pollution that we learn to tolerate and ignore, until we wake up to how harmful it is to our health. Paula Caplan is correct! Mother blaming is the air we breathe within this patriarchal society, which blames mothers for everything and anything. Mothers are blamed…

Rosjke Hasseldine

Rosjke Hasseldine founder “Mother-Daughter Coaching International”, training organization, author of “The Silent Female Scream” & “The Mother-Daughter Puzzle”.

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